The girl and her memoir - Brunch

It was a BMW. An M6 as she recalled!
She couldn't believe she was doing this.
She walked down the stairs and made her way to the door when she felt she looked nice enough.
She wore her long black dress and a white cashmere jumper, soft make-up with her hair cascading down her back.
'You look great dear, now relax and go have fun!' Her aunt said.
She had only been in Cape Town a day and she really wanted to chill and hang out with her family.


Talking with Mark was a struggle at first but he was good to look at so she didn't mind.
They discussed work, family, religion, politics; they didn't go anywhere near relationships. She wasn't prepared for that...
After a few glasses of wine, conversation went from casual to flirty and numbers were exchanged for Whatsapp purposes. (Thank God for that huh?)
After getting through immigration, he promised to arrange a meet soon and he did! Soon!


Mark stopped for what seemed like an eternity and just looked at her... 'You are beautiful' he said as he held out his hand and led her to the open passenger door.
She smiled but didn't say a word. She was excited about her date but it wasn't because of Mark.
This was simply because she could let herself bask in the attention of someone else and not feel bad for the first time in 6 months.
This was a good step!

Mark had shaved, he wore a nice musky fragrance that filled the car and honestly looked like a movie star in his dark Ray Ban aviator sunglasses but again, this wasn't about him.
This afternoon was about her! Letting go, making conversation, having a good time and that car!
All she could think of in that moment was how good she looked in his white BMW M6 and she made herself comfortable.

The girl and her memoir - Mark

He watched her closely. She could feel his gaze on her. He looked a bit worried but he didn't move. She had tears dripping down her face for the last half hour and he wondered what could have happened to her. Sickness? Heartbreak? Death? He was genuinely concerned.

He felt helpless but he couldn't take his eyes off her. She had very soft features. A lovely pointed nose, piercing eyes and big soft lips or at least he thought so.

When she walked into the airplane, she caught his attention. Her accent was different. Nigerian with a hint of Southern English. She smiled at the air hostess and he thought her smile lit up the place. He decided that he was going to talk to her. Maybe flirt with her if she was single but now it seemed unlikely. She didn't look at him. She finished her glass of wine and closed her eyes again.

He had his earphones in and was listening to some jazz music. It was soothing. He looked across to her again, she was asleep. He thought she looked peaceful. He started to feel sorry for her; wondering how he could help. Twenty minutes later, she woke up and asked for some water. She sat up and looked around and their eyes met - Finally. He held her gaze and smiled. She smiled too and looked away. He thought now would be as good a time as any to say hi. So he got up, walked towards her and stood over her seat. She looked up at him. He was tall and he had broad shoulders, brown eyes and soft dark hair. Possibly the most good looking man she had met this year.

"Hi, my name is Mark". She smiled, "Hello Mark, it's nice to meet you"...!

The girl and her memoir - Dusk

After she took her seat, she asked for a glass of water and settled in. With enough room for her to stretch, she got as comfortable as she could, drank her glass of water and closed her eyes. By the time she opened them, the plane was already in the sky. She looked around her, most people were asleep. They had a long way to go. She flicked through the channels on the small screen in front of her and when she found nothing interesting, she closed her eyes again.
This time, the tears came and she let them. It was inevitable because every time she was alone, she would think of him and fight the tears.

The gentleman beside her watched her. He didn't want to be rude. She knew he was watching her but she didn't care. She needed to cry and cry she did. Like a little child.

'I'll take a bullet for you', 'I love you', 'You give me joy', 'I hope I don't have to look any further'...

Words that now became empty, meaningless, hurtful.

He broke her but she loved him anyway. She loved him too much. That was her weakness. Her mistake perhaps.

But for all the memories they shared and all the promises made, she needed to let go and in order to do that, she needed to cry so cry she did!

Back To Black - An ode to Miss Winehouse

There are those artists that always dare. They write, produce or perform the song that's always a tad 'inappropriate' but very relevant.

Amy Winehouse was that artist. From Back to Black to What is it About Men? to Rehab to Love Is a losing game.., She commands every performance with a deeply personal touch. I've never really paid close attention to any of her lyrics because I tend to just sing along but recently, I've been going through personal stuff and listening to this song again in a totally different light made me appreciate it more. (Warning: Explicit content)!!!

Back To Black

He left no time to regret, kept his dick wet

With his same old safe bet

Me, and my head high, and my tears dry

Get on without my guy

You, went back to what you knew, so far removed

From all that we went through

And I, tread, a troubled track, my odds are stacked

I go back to black

We only said goodbye with words

I died a hundred times

You go back to her 

And I go back to, us

I love you much, it's not enough

You love blow and I love puff

And life, is like a pipe

And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls, inside

We only said goodbye with words

I died a hundred times

You go back to her 

And I go back to black.

RIP Amy Winehouse.

The girl and her memoir

As she sat at the airport stretched out on the most comfortable sofa she could find, tea in hand, hand luggage by her side, she flicked through old pictures on her iPad. She hadn’t done that in a while. Pictures which now served as memories. Memories of life in Lagos, work and Him. Him - time spent together, spa weekends, pictures sent to each other. She closed her iPad and shut her eyes. She saw him everywhere, beautiful memories made her smile and the more recent memories made the tears well up almost automatically. 

Her flight was finally announced. Priority boarding. She was on her way to Cape Town. A long awaited vacation. She couldn’t seem to shake the memories of him despite efforts to block them out. She put her iPad away, phone fully charged and big round sunglasses on her face - She couldn’t do much to change the situation but she could write. She would write - The girl and her memoir...